We cannot save other nations! We can only generate failed states

My friend Dean was a recovering alcoholic; his family, his Catholic faith and AA had provided the support he needed to keep him on the wagon and lead a happy productive life for 10 years when he shared this: “When I was drinking, my family and friends tried to rescue me; but I took everything they did to help me and used it to sink lower and lower. One day, I looked in the mirror and said to myself: I don’t want to do this anymore. From that moment on, all their love and support were critical to my successful recovery.”

His story was an “aha!” moment for me:  We cannot save other people! —no matter how much we care for them, no matter how clearly we see their path to temporal or spiritual salvation. We can only take the leadership responsibility for our own lives, be nourished by those who care for us and support those we care for as they lead their own lives. The idea that any one of us, as an individual or a nation, can “save” another person or nation is one of the most pernicious and destructive ideas floating around. If we could save someone else, they would be unnecessary to themselves, the ultimate in human degradation!

As clear as this reality has become to me, it seems to be a truth hidden from many well meaning people who spend much of their time trying to save other people; often sinking lower themselves as they do so. We are mired in Iraq and Afghanistan, and interfered briefly in Somalia, because of a destructive belief that we can somehow better ourselves by saving these tribal nations and turning them into democracies. Thus far, they have taken our unasked for support and used it to sink lower.  Meanwhile, distracted by our mission of saving others, we have ignored our own issues, seriously weakening ourselves financially and militarily while the strains of our self-righteousness and loss of faith in the rule of law (Guantanamo, torture, etc.) threaten to fragment our own democracy.  It is doubly tragic that the drive to save others, in spite of themselves, is driven by well intentioned Christians who were called on by Christ to “witness” their love of others by making themselves more vulnerable, not impose their beliefs on others to make themselves less vulnerable.

It’s ironic that our recent futile attempts to convert other nations to democracies were initiated and led by another recovering alcoholic, George Bush! Now that he is gone,  I wonder how long it will take us, and how much more we must damage ourselves and those we are “helping” before we wise up to the error of our ways.